Thankful

As we close out Thanksgiving and lead into the Christmas and New Year’s holidays, I would like to take a moment to reflect on what I am truly thankful for… LOVE.

In a recent story by Time magazine based on a survey by the Pew Research Center, it was implied that marriage was no longer looked upon favorably and that the institution of marriage was dying! The survey and report went on to further state that an increasing percentage of Americans no longer desire to be married and feel as if the institution of marriage is a dying form and may even be obsolete. Suffice to say, this has caused a firestorm and there have been proponents from both sides advocating their points. From USA Today to MSNBC to across the pond and the BBC, to bloggers far and wide, such as BMWK, this has been debated over and over again.

But let’s look at it from a different perspective. The institution and sanctity of marriage, just as the embodiment of any corporation, organization, and the church, is based on the people. The persons involved determine how the institution is developed and perceived. It’s the people who help the company grow, help the organization prosper, make the institution. The blueprints have been the same for centuries and what marriage was ordained for has not changed; what has changed are peoples’ belief, dedication, and reverence towards marriage. Whereas marriage was once looked upon by the majority as the culmination of a beautiful courtship, the perfect union of soulmates, the outward display of love and longevity, it is now viewed as a short-term contractual agreement, a business arrangement, a photo op or press release. More often than not, in today’s society, marriage is embarked on with little thought or preparation beyond the ceremony, as many do not value or understand the purpose of marriage or their purpose in a marriage.

With all of that said, the institution hasn’t failed, the people have failed the institution. While the divorce rate is increasing, please remember you have to be married first in order to get divorced! People haven’t abandoned marriage, they just don’t know how to be married. There is a difference. What has been lost, forgotten, and disregarded is the love that brought them together. Whatever events led to getting married, there was some form of love that guided the parties to unify and become one and somehow that love wasn’t developed and nurtured. A marriage is no different than any other job. It requires dedication, constant effort, strategy meetings, budget analysis, team work, and any other duties as they may arise. However the rewards far outweigh any salary, promotion, accolades, or awards, for love is immeasurable and exceeds any expectations. That which you receive from your job pales in comparison from all you gain from your marriage. The two aren’t in the same hemisphere.

So on this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the gift of love. From all those I have loved and loved me, whether familial or relational, I am grateful to know what love is and to experience it for myself. I once questioned whether it was better to love and have lost than to never have loved at all. I no longer wonder because to love means to experience life at its fullest, beyond any conceivable notion. Love tends to take you places you never knew possible and make you feel and experience things you never knew existed. Even in loss, love is grand. Without love you may have never explored the possibilities or allowed for the opportunities. Even when those we have loved are no longer with us, there is a place in our innermost being, in our heart, that has been transformed, that has grown, because we loved and were loved. Even in our darkest times, the slightest memory, feeling of love can turn the most bleak of situations around. Love is a cure for all ailments and is the answer to most questions. Love can be the solution and the remedy when applied properly.

As we move into the season of celebrating and giving, I thank all of you who one way or another affected my life and shown love and shown me how to love. Love is ever-evolving and is a learned trait. We learn what love is from our surroundings, people we encounter, but we learn how to love from our circumstances and experiences. No matter the outcome, I know what love can be. I know its power and its pain, its joy and its turmoil, what it can give and what it can take away, and I would never trade any of it. Never count out love, never give up on love, never run away from love. At the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, it’s all we may have left.

Remember, U, Me, and We = Love

One Love,

BlakkDiamond

Blow Out the Candles!

Blow Out the Candles

My destiny was designed before my life even began,

When God thought enough of me to add me to His master plan.

A twinkle in my Dad’s eye and a moment of ecstasy,

Here comes a bundle of a joy, my parents’ blessing and fantasy.

Their little man to take on and conquer the world,

To start a new revolution and charm the girls.

Possibly a tiny terror, too much to handle, a statistic waiting to happen

Never a second thought, wrapped me in love and made me a Captain.

A captain of my future, the director of my story, the master, and architect,

Armed by a heritage of warriors, a family of survivors, and boundless intellect.

Had to realize it wasn’t always where I was going, but where I come from

I was born of my Mother’s womb and saved by the blood of the Son.

Raised to be strong, stand on my own, fight to the end,

Anointed by Christ to be a king, a savior, and servant of men.

With each year a new lesson learned, another goal to achieve,

With each year I understand less, but the more I believe.

I learn to live life a little bit Moore and Moore,

Cherish the things that matter the most, my family, my friends, life galore.

Still on a journey, but far from where I began,

Putting one foot in front the other and leaving my mark in the sand.

So bring out the cake, light the candles, watch the flames burn higher,

After I make a wish, say a prayer, stand back, ‘cause I’m bout to set the world on fire!

1 True Love

1 True Love

When I first met you I was so infatuated, captivated, stimulated,

Being in your presence again is what I anticipated.

The more we talked, the more I learned,

The longer we were apart, the more I yearned.

The more we were together,

The more I thought, this could be forever.

Your style, your grace, your intellect had me intrigued,

Your versatility, your charisma, your aura filled a need.

It was more than a desire, more than lust

You filled the void I was missing, you became the one I trust.

Sometimes I get so lost just listening to and envisioning your words,

The trips you take me on, the images you conjured up are so superb.

Your presence, your style, the way you move, mere words cannot describe,

The way you command and captivate an audience, let’s just call it worldwide.

But it was more than flashing lights, parties, and good times,

Sometimes you would get so deep, drop a message and make me want to rewind.

Rewind back to a time when it was just me and you,

A hot summer day or stroll under the midnight hue.

A time when it was simple, fun, not so many distractions,

When it wasn't about the glitz, the glamour, the attractions.

Back then didn't fuss over who went first or who got the last,

Let bygones be bygones and left the past in the past.

Never was an issue over money & bills,

Just us against the world making it bend to our will.

When we first started, it was innocent and fun,

More about self-expression, learning one another, becoming one.

And even when we didn’t see eye to eye or things felt like they were coming to an end,

I knew no matter what, you would always be my lover and friend.

No distance or separation could sever our ties or tear us apart,

Whether you’re on the west and I’m on the east, you’ll always remain in my heart.

You bring tears to my eyes and put a smile on my face,

Light up the sky and make all the hurt dissipate.

The greatest of these is love and when I hear you, I know what God meant,

He loves me so much, in you, an angel He sent.

The love we share defies logic, transcends imaginations, evolves, and achieves,

Take one look, one listen, one touch, you too will believe.

You are clairvoyant, mysterious, rambunctious, righteous, and versatile,

But for me, you are bliss personified, love embodied, you make my heart smile.

No matter the tribulation, despite the trials, or on the verge of defeat,

A simple whisper from your lips lifts me back on my feet.

You are my strength and peace during the storm,

My comfort at night, what keeps me warm.

The dream-shaper, the mind-stimulator, the fire in my soul,

When I am with you is when I feel whole.

I close my eyes, envision your beauty, a creature so divine,

There is no comparison, no substitute, simply sublime.

With you, I am more than a conqueror, I feel immortal,

You are a window to a new world, my love portal.

The right word at the right time, the answer to prayers,

When all else fails, I can turn to you and share.

Share my hopes, aspirations, and fears,

Knowing you will have the right words to make it all clear.

Where would I be without you, what would I do,

At the end of the day, our love will always remain true,

Music, I love you.

Is Love A Choice?

Every part of life is directed by choices or decisions and are shaped by the proceeding effects. The choice to love is no different. I had an arousing and stimulating conversation with a group of people regarding whether or not love is an actual choice. The discussion was in-depth, provocative, informative, and left me wondering if my thought process was rational or relevant. Suffice to say, I had to go back to the drawing board to rethink some things.

For many, love is a overwhelming sense of euphoria that comes on suddenly, without warning, and renders its subject helplessly head over heels. But is that really love? {see “What Is Love ”for a reference}. Love is so much more than mere emotions. An emotion is simply a noun, a word used to name or describe a person, place, feeling, ideal, and is defined as follows: A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes; a feeling: the emotions of joy, sorrow, reverence, hate, and love. In other words, it’s uncontrollable, without thought, and comes and goes at about the same rate and speed. The thing about nouns, emotions, are that they are stationary, uninvolved, lacking in movement. You may feel a certain way, an emotion may take you over, but what you do with that emotion, how you react to it, is the choice that makes the difference. It is at that moment when those emotions are demonstrated and expressed that love is realized.

So if an emotion is a noun, would you agree that love is a verb? A verb asserts something about the subject and expresses actions, events, or states of being. As one writer put it, “Love is always connected with what you do,” and what we do is love.” Love is what you do in spite of, because of, and regardless of. Still not following? Love encompasses all walks of life, is present in every relationship, and is multi-dimensional.

Love is what happens when you’ve worked 12 hours, multi-tasked and juggled corporate and family life, and still made it a purpose to read your children a bedtime story. Did you have to do that? Was your day not strenuous and exhausting? Would it have been not been easier to just put the kids to bed and take the rest of the evening to yourself? Despite all of that, your actions, your choice, was to spend quality time with the kids, to show love.

Love is what happens when, for no reason and no expectations of reciprocation, you randomly show kindness to a stranger, purchase a gift for a significant other, or go out of your way to show that special person how much they mean and are appreciated. It was done just because, with no pretense, ulterior motive, or waiting with bated breath for something in return. There are an endless number of things that you could have done with your time, money, and efforts for yourself, but it was love that led you to do for someone else, to choose to give unconditionally.

Love is what happens when your last, reserved nerve has been pushed to the limit and you are about to explode and act in a manner that is anything but Christina-like, but instead, you deter that emotion, swallow your pride, repress that anger, and regardless of who’s right or who’s wrong, you act with humility, respect, and gentleness as you turn to your significant other and say, “I’m sorry and I love you.” You may be completely right by anyone’s reasoning and logic, could have been mistreated, and feelings deeply hurt, but it is love that allows you to die of self and instead of lashing out and retaliating, extend an olive branch and emphasize and focus on love. Or putting it a different way, setting in motion resolutions, taking actions to rectify and build, choosing to move forward and not linger in turmoil.

Still uncertain, on the fence, indecisive? The “Summit Circle,” as I have affectionately titled the group of friends and peers mentioned earlier, proposed that love cannot be a choice as you have no control when love strikes or the magnitude in which it commandeers your life. Referencing Deborah Cox’s smash hit, “Nobody’s Supposed To Be Here,” and the lyrics “How did you get here? Nobody's supposed to be here. I've tried that love thing for the last time. My heart says no, no! Nobody's supposed to be here, but you came along and changed my mind.” It appears Ms. Cox was taken off guard, unaware, and even trying to fight the feeling, her emotions. But if you take a closer look, you will see the actions, the choices, she made in the name of love. Although nobody (love) was supposed to be there, she tried it, made a conscious effort, chose to see what love offered and although initially it didn’t work or offer the results she was seeking, it (love) came beckoning again and changed her mind. Meaning she processed (verb - choice), contemplated (verb - choice), decided (verb - choice) to give love (take actions) another chance and see where it led her. In spite of the past pain, because of the endless possibilities, and regardless of the unknown and numerous variables, she is choosing love again.

Love is the choice we make. We’ve all heard the cliché “fall in or out of love,” but what that is really saying is that I am experiencing a plethora of emotionally stimulating feelings. Or the opposite end of that spectrum is that plethora of emotions has dissipated and the luster has worn off. It is what we do in between, the actions we take, the choices we choose, that demonstrates love. Do we act on the exhilaration and exuberance of feelings, pursuing it and discovering new horizons? Do we replenish that lost feeling, rediscover what once excited and thrilled us, attempt to reestablish what once was? Either way "falling" in and of itself requires action, making a choice, and love is the outcome of that choice.

Ponder this as you think about love and action being synonymous. Love in manifested in four different ways. "Storge," meaning affection; "Philia," meaning friendship; "Eros," meaning sexual or romantic; and "Agape," meaning selfless. None of the aforementioned forms of love exists as simply a noun, because without action they are dead. Without choice they are irrelevant, if never expressed, they never form to fruition, and if never used, they are wasted. Love is the voluntary act of selecting what is preferred, the determination of the mind, grasping the power of opportunity, utilizing judgement or skill in what is desired. Love is a choice.

Remember, this isn’t just about U or just about Me, but all about We. The only way We grow is if We share, learn from, help, and support each other. Agree or disagree, it's all about growth. Has love been your choice or a meager emotion? How can you choose to express love, pursue love, explore love? Come back soon as we’ll dig a little deeper and forge a little further. Also, be on the lookout for U, Me, and We hitting the radio waves. We're taking it to new heights and trying to reach as many as possible.

"Love is a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others. Love - the feeling - is a fruit of love the verb." Stephen R. Covey

One Bad Mother

One Bad Mother

Since the beginning of time you've shined like the morning sun, watched over and protected us like a full moon

Helped raise and nurture men from sons, daughters you’ve cultivated and groom

Never given a blueprint, manuscript, or instructions to follow or sample,

Ma’Dear, Big Mama, and Mommy was how you learned, they were your example

The heart and backbone of the family, quiet security and insurmountable strength

More power than a 100 armies, a will than can never be bent

Don’t believe me, go after her offspring and watch this Mama bear, this lioness attack

Or witness the miracle of birth and see this wonder woman bounce right back

One of the baddest creatures walking earth,

So bad that God designated you to give Jesus Christ birth

I repeat, so bad that God designated YOU to give Jesus Christ birth,

Tell me, what man can measure your worth

Not saying she is Jesus reincarnated, but a lil something like Him,

Jesus took 5 loaves and 2 fish, while mom took 50 cents of luncheon meat and a loaf of bread to feed men

Some beans and some rice, and all u could say after was, that was nice

Mom fed the stomach and the soul, showed wisdom and understanding with a spoon and a bowl

A Proverbs 31 woman living amongst man, quick to hit you with a timely scripture and when needed, the back of her hand

Don't get it twisted, God-fearing, bible-following, holy and redeemed woman,

But cross her, talk back, or get out of line and all you'll be able to say is, wish I saw that Daniel Green coming

Never spared the rod or spoiled the child, but dished out love and affection

Kept her children covered in Jesus’ blood and Mother’s protection

Helpmate, matriarch, disciplinarian, supporter, are only a few of the names and people you portray

Let’s not forget master chef, genie in a lamp, doctor, advocate, made all the sorrows and worries of the world fly away

Who else could wear all those hats, fill all those shoes, heal the sick, cure the blues

There just isn’t another, because when you’re finished with all of that,

you still have to be friend, wife and lover

Simply put, you are one bad Mother

Definitely... Without a shadow of a doubt... 100% bonafide and true, God blessed us all when He made you

God took a look at His masterpiece, broke the mold and threw out the design

Said to Himself, this is beauty personified, magnificence divine

Delighted in His work, He breathe life into you and said go shine,

Leave none untouched, leave no one behind

Show the world far and wide, be an inspiration to all man,

Let them know that through you, they have become a part of My master plan

Whether they call you Mom, Mama, Dear, or Madre, there is no other.

No questions asked, you are one bad Mother.

What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

You are the pulse that makes our blood flow, the breath in our lungs, the spirit of our heartbeat

And whether here with us or in Heaven above,

There is no one, no thing, or no distance that can match your love

There is no one, no thing, or no distance that can match your love

There is no one, no thing, or no distance that can match your love

Love unconditional, love in abundance, love so strong it can never broken,

Love given freely, without reservation, love given with hugs and kisses like game tokens

She is all of this and so much more, the salt of the Earth, the stars in the sky

Everything in one, appointed by the Most High

One of a kind, an angel amongst us, often imitated, but never duplicated, there just is no other

To sum it all up, just call her ONE BAD MOTHER!!!

© BlakkDiamond 2010

What Is LOVE?

Hello World, I’m Baaaaaaaaaaaack… With a loaded question to boot. I’ve been pondering this thought for a while and as I processed the notion in my mind, I began to ask the question out loud seeking others’ thoughts and opinions. In the midst of one of these Q&A sessions, a trusted friend and mentor made me rethink the question, its true meaning, and whether or not there was an answer.

That being said, I believe there is. I simply think that anything that is felt can be expressed, and anything that is expressed can be defined. It may sound like I am talking in circles, but bear with me.

What better place to start than scripture itself and how the Holy Bible defines love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 reads, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Whatever you may believe or subscribe to, I think we can all agree that throughout our lives we have experienced some form of what we believed to be love. Whether it was the feelings you felt towards your parents or siblings, the joys of being a parent watching your child grow, or the fire that burned within when spending time with your significant other. But love far exceeds a relationship with others or mere emotions. Some have fond affections for money, music, possessions, fine art, traveling, certain cuisines, and the list goes on and on, and we have all used the term whole-heartedly and loosely, “I love {fill in the blank}” as a way to describe these affections/feelings/emotions.

But what is love? What is it that stirs that emotion, conjures up those deep-rooted feelings, ignites every sense, and forces us to not only act upon these urges, but also utter the word, LOVE? Love cannot be measured or quantified, contained or subdued, stifled or ignored. It is limitless and boundless and depending on the circumstances, it manifests in a multitude of ways, sometimes simultaneously, and even emerges unexpectedly.

However, the core, the basis of love, will always remain the same. No matter the object of your love, it stems from the giver. Love is something that can be received only when and if it is given. Read that again. Love can only be received when and if it is given. You can’t receive love from a house or a plant, but you can give love to them, nurture them, and help them grow and prosper, thus the house or plant receives love, and so is the same with people and relationships.

If I had to use one word as a parallel or summation of love, it would be selflessness. Simply put, “Love is the willingness to unconditionally give of one self in spite of.” The readiness to put all inward and outward desires aside for the sake of someone else, knowing that it may never be reciprocated or appreciated, but in the end, it will make a positive affect on their lives. It is an outward display of an inward manifestation that demonstrates the givers fervor, zeal, heartiness… LOVE.

This is only one writer’s opinion, notion, and this topic can and will be explored for millenniums to come and hopefully you’ll join me on this journey of exploration into LOVE. There’s plenty more to discuss and I attend to touch on some of it all, but I will leave you with this.

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten son….” God, Allah, Yahweh, Elohim, whatever name you choose to use, He is the personification, the epitome, the epicenter and He willingly, without hesitation, forsake, bequeath, His desires and feelings, the one thing, person, that was inimitable, unrivaled, and unparalleled, all for someone else (you and me) so that we may have a better life, be happy, and experience the fullness and riches of life. If that’s not love, then what is?

What is Love to you? How would you define it? Remember, this isn’t just about U or just about Me, but all about We. The only way We grow is if We share, learn from, help, and support each other. Come back soon as we’ll delve deeper into this thing called LOVE.